If you plant an idea, nurture and care for it, you will be amazed by how big it grows and the influence it has. My adult son was so proud of the tomato plants he had started from seed. I listened as he described how big the plants had gotten. How beautiful and delicious the big ripe tomatoes were. His infectious description reminded me of my Grandfather. It was not how my son sounded that reminded me of Grandpa. Our sons sound like their father. So much so, that I cannot discern which of them is talking on the phone. Thank heavens for caller ID! No, this was something different. It was the words spoken by my son that transported me back to my Grandparent’s farm. It was a specific phrase, spoken years ago by a man my son had never met, that sent me back to the corn fields on my Grandfather’s farm.
I, for one, had not given much thought to becoming a grandmother. So, I was caught off guard and not sure how I felt about this news. I knew I was of that age. I had friends who were grandparents. According to them, grand parenting was the best thing that ever happened to them. Not only that, their grandchildren were the most amazing children on the face of the earth. Other friends wanted desperately to become grandparents, but their children were not cooperating. I on the other hand, just did not see the appeal. I had gotten use to the empty nest and was enjoying the quiet. Besides, it wasn’t something I had any control over. I understood the circle of life, that someday my children might have children. But that was some day, out there, in the future. I guess I don’t adjust to change very well. If I like the moment I’m in, I would prefer to stay there awhile. I enjoyed being a mother. But the time went by too fast. Life became a series of events for which I was not prepared and passed too quickly. It frustrated me that there was never enough time to savor the moment.
I was still struggling with the grandmother title when our son called. He had just witnessed the miracle of his daughter’s birth, a life changing event that we now shared and I discovered how important and rewarding grand-parenting can be.
I wake up slowly and becoming a Mom did not change that. Waking up slowly is not a good trait for a Mom, or a Nana. It can get a person into all kinds of trouble, but the worst was the night I tried to flush my son.
We must look for opportunities to establish trust in the relationship between Grandparent and Grandchild. The most authentic moments occur when we are not looking for them. So, we must be ready to take advantage of those opportunities to communicate effectively. I did not realize that the most meaningful compliment I would ever receive was going to come from my two year old Granddaughter. But it is my hope that this opportunity is the beginning of a relationship based on a strong foundation of trust.